Fail Often & Brightly

I was recently working with a student on a simple balance task where the goal was to stand on one leg at a time for a certain duration without falling. On occasion, despite great and sincere effort, she would lose balance and fall. My typical response in these moments is to exclaim, “Nice fall!” On this day, my student made a point of expressing her appreciation for this positive response to failure, as it is allowing her to reframe falling as a positive experience to be celebrated, rather than something to be chastised and avoided.

When developing a quality like balance, it is important to work at a level that is achievable but challenging — generally speaking, the success rate should be approximately 80%. If the assigned task is too easy or too difficult, nothing new will be developed. Therefore, when working at an appropriate level, falls will inevitably happen. This is very important, as learning to balance (and perhaps learning in general) is a result of failing in every possible way so that, by a process of elimination, we arrive at an understanding of how to perform the task correctly.

The trouble most of us encounter when trying to learn something new is the inevitable frustration and other negative emotions and ideas that can arise as a result of failure. In the moment, failure is deeply unpleasant. Even painful. However, the good news is that it is possible to rewire our nervous systems such that we begin to associate positive emotions with failure. This comes as a result of intentional response and repetition.

I practice this with my children. When they fall, I celebrate the fall. If they are hurt then, of course, I attend to their pain and help, but in the vast majority of cases the only real bruising is to the ego. I can already see the benefit of this approach with my 6-year-old, who will now frequently burst out in delight when he trips, thrilled by the experience, rather than feeling demoralised and defeated, as so many children do.

From the perspective of holistic self-development, I find it fascinating that we can train the emotions in conjunction with physical practice through intentional association and repetition. This is related to the concept that “neurons that fire together, wire together.” Naturally, this is easier under the guidance and influence of a teacher, as we are generally prone to negative feeling and self-talk when working alone. Still, I do believe that with practice and time we can learn to associate positive emotion with failure as a default state.

A suggestion:

It is often easier to care for and attend to the needs of others than it is to care for and attend to our own needs. We will generally tend to our pets and children with greater effort and care than we would ourselves. If you struggle with failure and feel overwhelmed by negativity, try first to be a positive influence on someone else. Be the teacher for another. Celebrate not only wins, but losses and failures as well. Be the change you want to see in the world — that is, your world — and you may just find yourself becoming a little lighter, a little brighter, and a little more hopeful.

May you fail often and brightly.

🙏🐒

These ideas are not only philosophical. They are explored through consistent movement practice.

At Meditative Monkey we work with these principles directly, developing awareness, capacity, and resilience over time.

If this perspective resonates with you, you are welcome to begin your practice with us.