The Fear of Becoming
A new student has recently joined our community after being aware and interested in the practice for some years. She’s integrating beautifully and has been expressing a common refrain: “I wish I started this sooner.”
Curious to understand more, I couldn’t help but ask: “Well, why didn’t you?”
Her answer was brilliant.
There were obvious and common factors, such as the challenge of finding time amidst family and work responsibilities, but the crux of the resistance was actually not practical.
It was emotional.
It was story.
Specifically, she experienced anxiety and fear connected to personal narratives:
“They’re too cool for me.”
“I’m not good enough.”
…and most interesting of all…
“What if I do work on myself and grow? Then I’ll have something to lose.”
This one hit me hard.
It hit me hard because I know this feeling.
To create and grow means confronting the possibility of failure and loss. I can’t fail if I don’t truly try.
It’s a type of emotional buffer that protects us from short-term disappointment at the cost of long-term growth.
This hesitation can orient life towards a perverse kind of meaning, one where we live only to avoid bland discomfort, rather than taking the risks necessary for deep fulfilment.
I suspect this type of emotional buffering is common in our society. A quiet devil that whispers: “Better the bliss of comfortable ignorance than the risk of a real adventure.”
When confronted with this struggle, we could try and reframe our perspective away from fear of loss and towards the excitement of growth.
But there’s also another way of seeing.
Which is that whatever path you choose, you will lose everything.
Life as we know it will end. All that we’ve gained will be gone. We will become, at best, a memory.
In the end, you will be nothing but a story.
So why not make it a good one?
Something to think about.
🐒
These ideas are not only philosophical. They are explored through consistent movement practice.
At Meditative Monkey we work with these principles directly, developing awareness, capacity, and resilience over time.
If this perspective resonates with you, you are welcome to begin your practice with us.