Overcoming Resistance

In every moment and in all things we encounter resistance, a force that acts in opposition to our efforts. The force of gravity is omnipresent and restless. Every movement of the body involves overcoming the internal friction of muscle, connective tissue, bones, organs and fluids. Resistance is also experienced in every thought and feeling, in part because thoughts and feelings are related to physical processes and thus are susceptible to the same oppositional forces as any other physical phenomena. It is like Newton claimed — that every action has an equal and opposite reaction. Resistance is inescapable so long as one is alive.

That being said, not all efforts produce the same amount of resistance. Naturally, if resistance is equal and opposite, it stands to reason that a small effort will result in small resistance and vice versa. Most often it is the actions that we have taken many times before that require the least effort. These actions we call habits. This is why habits are so hard to change, because they are the actions we have repeated more than any other and therefore require very little effort to do. To change a habit requires taking different action, a less practised action, which requires great effort and thus great resistance.

I’m speaking of resistance in particular because it is my observation that a very common experience for a journeyman practitioner —  one beginning on the path of sincere practice — to encounter great physical, emotional and mental resistance to doing the work. This is often perceived as a problem to be solved, an unwanted barrier on their path of self-evolution. What is missing from this perspective is the understanding that resistance is not an impediment, rather that resistance is a necessary and crucial quality of the way.

It’s just like when we train to develop our strength. Certainly it would be easier to perform an exercise with no external load, not even the force of gravity, but then we would not be challenged with sufficient stress to adapt, grow and actually achieve what we intend to — to get stronger. In fact, by avoiding resistance, the muscles, bones, connective tissue and nervous system collectively atrophy, slowly degrading and becoming more fragile and frail. This is not just true for human beings but for all organic life. Consider the trees, which require the external stressors of gravity, wind and rain to develop strong, deep root systems. Organic life needs resistance to grow and thrive.

Of course, there is a delicate balance required in our relationship with resistance. Too little resistance leaves us weak but too much resistance will destroy us. However, the problem I often notice (even in myself) is the attitude that if the resistance experienced is too great, the only option is to stop trying altogether. This binary, “all-or-nothing” approach, fails to acknowledge the reality of nuance. It is an attitude that has, I suspect, resulted in more failure of human endeavour than any other possible cause.

To use again the example of developing strength, if my goal is to build stronger legs I might choose to practice an exercise like barbell back squats. Perhaps I’ve heard that a respectable standard is to squat twice my own bodyweight (87kg x 2 = 174kg), so I go to the gym, warm-up, go to the squat rack, load up 174kg and utterly fail on my first attempt. I’m not strong enough for this, not even close — there’s too much resistance. What should I do? Quit and decide to never squat again? Or should I start at a level of resistance that is challenging but achievable and gradually increase the weight over the weeks, months and years until I achieve my goal?

There is an art to this, it’s a lifelong practice. Teachers, coaches and gurus can certainly aid us in this journey, but ultimately we must find the humility, acceptance and patience within ourselves to see that the resistance we face is a beautiful and necessary quality of our practice, and that we must work with self-compassion and awareness to make wise and measured efforts towards our goals.

Some questions for you, dear reader, to consider:

Where do you notice resistance turning up in your life?

What is the nature of your relationship to this resistance?

Do you notice the “all-or-nothing” attitude within yourself? If so, has it served you, or been a hindrance?

Thank you as always for reading, it’s an honour and a privilege to compose these writings for you.

With love,

🙏🐒